Those Little Moments

So....the furlough may just be over...yet to be seen whether the staying power is really there...or this is just a kink I need to get out of my system....watch & wait! :-)

Three years since the last post....times have changed, career change, and life has sure changed! Let's just say that life doesn't always turn out the way you thought it would...but then...when has it ever??

But with all those changes, it's good to stop and treasure those little moments...the moments that make you smile right from the soles of your feet to the top of your head. 3 years on...C1 & C2 (9 years & 6 years, respectively)...good looking (and I'm NOT biased on that! :-)  ) little men and I don't get to spend as much time with them as I would like. But when they're around, they sure do give me a lot of those little moments! The ones, a mother will carry in her heart for always...wherever she may go and whatever she may do.

That moment when you are cooking lunch & either C1 or C2...runs into the kitchen from whatever they were doing...just to give you a huge hug...and run away again! :-)

That moment before they fall asleep when they roll over & hug you tight...lying in the dark with my babies either side of me, hugging and being hugged in return. And then watching them sleep.

And as they get older and start to rationalise more, that bittersweet moment in a conversation when you realise your baby is growing up and has the ability to learn and to reason, without your stimulating it.

The swell of pride when your child gets up on a stage and gives a speech, or receives a prize....

Or sprawled with them on the ground...teaching them painting techniques...watching as your little miracles create colourful marvels that speak volumes about their internal workings.

Those are the precious little moments to be cherished....those are the precious little moments I live for.

Getting the Hang of This Mothering Thang!

So the hols are over...C1 back today & C2 back tomorrow...and I can't make up my mind as to whether I am sad or happy for more me time.

In my humble opinion the holidays have been a roaring success! Not only did the boys get along much better....less trying to kill each other & more time running around laughing & playing....aaahhh....yesssss....all was more or less as it should have been. Almost afraid to jinx it...but I think my boys are finally at that turning point....C1 seeing C2 more as a playmate & friend than a source of annoyance & sometimes blind rage!!

But somewhere in the dark of night, or so it seems....that for which I wished so hard seems to have snuck up & struck me from behind. I recall the days when I longed for the yelling to end...the bullying,...the breaking things....for peaceful playtimes & happy hours spent quietly playing with toys or painting. And now - just as it seems to be becoming a reality I am faced with the bittersweet reality that BOTH my boys are not longer Mama's babies, & Mama is suddenly not ready to give up the baby-days!

For as they each begin a new school year, and I realise my time with them as children is rapidly shortening, I am thankful for the fact that I DID spend countless hours with them...choosing to do my freelance work mostly at night: we worked on papier mache projects, we painted, we played games & I even brought them along to a meeting so they had a day outing with a swim & lunch! And just as I feel like this career girl is finally getting the hang of this mothering thing...all too soon its back to school...with all that that entails.

I DO miss my boys being around all the time...but that does not mean I don't enjoy some me time when they're away...I do enjoy being able to sleep more at night as I work on projects during the day...but in the end...this career girl has found a new career....at least one that IS rewarding as I proudly watch my babies grow into young boys & young men....& I know I am not being biased when I say....they do a mother proud!

Dishing Up Delish!

So you think you have a fussy eater? Join the club! At some point we all have to deal with fussy eaters. Toddlers & Pre-schoolers in particular can just get picky picky picky. Well - if you are still trying to get your toddler to eat that mush that we call baby food & comes out of little bottle or packets, you take a taste of it yourself sometime & then you tell me....would YOU eat it?

As easy as it is in today's rat race to heat up something ready-made after a tiring day in the office, consider this before you go through the ordeal of making your child eat the stuff. In general, by 18 months, many toddlers will have most of their teeth, will have been introduced to butter, salt & yoghurt & are observing the world around them in great detail, learning & picking up new things that they will amaze you with on an almost daily basis. So, what makes you think they are not noticing that they are eating different food from Mummy & Daddy? They are observing, they are connecting & most importantly...they are realising that their mush just doesn't compare!

I have a few tried & tested recipes my kids love...guaranteed to make them eat & some-how take in more nutrition than they would normally take in. Here is one of our  most popular dishes :

Buttery Boiled Fish with Veggies

Potatoes, carrots & any other veggies you find your kids likes

Chop the potatoes & carrots into bite-size chunks & boil in a little water with salt & pepper to taste. Make sure you use just enough water to boil the veggies, leaving a tablespoon or two of liquid in the pan once the veggies are boiled.

Once the vegetables are boiled add a chunk of butter (not margarine - butter!) - again according to your taste - but butter really adds flavour so being a little heavy handed here will only make the dish more delicious. When the butter is melted, add the fish & leave on the fire until the fish is cooked. Serve as it is with a baby fork & drenched in the buttery gravy so that your child can eat chunks himself or mash the potatoes, carrots, fish & some of the buttery gravy, add to rice & feed your child little mouthfuls at a time.If your child has been plagued by reflux the latter method may work better for you.

TIP :Sometimes I add a leaf or two of spinach into the water when boiling -I figure that even if they don't eat the spinach, some of the nutrition will have come out into the water whilst boiling!

I will dish up more recipes in a follow-up post- but in the meantime.....why don't you share some of your old favourites! 

Bon Appetit!

The Gabby Syndrome

How many of you mothers out there watch Desperate Housewives? Come on - be honest.....most of you would be glued to the TV set during that time. And why has this bizarre work of fiction found such a faithful following - with men &women alike? I'll tell you why - it because EVERYONE can relate. The hilariousness we see in the family lives of the characters ACTUALLY mirrors our own lives & those of the people we associate with.

We all know the control freak with a high-flying career who goes to work & still manages to keep her kids & (most importantly) husband,in line - then there's the so-called level-headed wife & mother who unknown to anyone is having an affair with the least likely character....it goes on.

My personal favourite is Gabby.....for the simple reason that she is simply human. The ex-model who 10 years before would never have foreseen her life as it is today - all the glamour gone, she's a housewife looking for a couple of hours me time. That is not to say that she doesn't love her kids....she does, it doesn't mean that she hates her life....no...far from it....she loves it. It doesn't mean that she doesn't try to make things happen the way they should....the cooking, the cleaning, everything. Why do I like Gabby.....she's very real....she is many mothers out there who feel alone......and mostly because she is quite simply  hilarious....OK she is a little over the top sometimes but let's face it....if she wasn't there would be no TV show. But she is me...she is you & she is almost every other mother & housewife at some time.....no matter how much laundry you do, how many times you clean the house & how much homework you supervise.....after doing all that as well  as trying to keep peace between your kids, get them to & from school in time with all related items.....at the end of the week you still need more fingers to count the number of time DH comes home from work & finds the house a mess.....your kids go to school or a concert minus some item, there is STILL un-done laundry in the laundry hamper......and you....well...you want to yell & scream & jump up & down when some-one says something as inane as "Why are so many fans on?" Because despite how exhausted you are.....you STILL don't seem to have achieved as much as you thought you would have. And hearing some-one else voice something as unimportant as the fans just makes you so frustrated you want to throw something...preferably the person voicing this stupid question!

Go on....tell me which Desperate Housewife you love the most & why.....you know you see a bit of yourself in each one of them....but which one really moves you....maybe I see hilariousness in Gabby....what do you see?

Theory : Super Mum = Super Kids

What's that sound? Is that laughter I hear?! OK - yes I hear you laughing...and you're absolutely right! Who came up with that theory anyway??! Confession time all you mother's out there...you came up with that theory! Think really hard...how many times have you assumed that just because you've been a spectacular mother on any given day, your kids would automatically follow suit?

Let's take a scenario we've all played out at some stage. A call comes, friends you've not met up with in ages want to meet for drinks DH discusses this with you & you both agree that yes we would like to meet said mates, spouses & associated kids for the evening. You plan the menu, do the necessary shopping & decide to get an early start on the day so that you have time for a cat nap, or at least some quiet time before the entertaining begins.

BUT - the phone rings again...this time DH is being called into work the next day - quite unexpected....especially being a Saturday! What do you do? You do what any good mother, hostess & supportive wife does: you suck it up & decide to get the planned early start anyway because boy will you need all the time you can get!

Morning breaks - deceptively calmly - C1 & C2 are being good...no really....quietly doing as they are told. You realise this won't last & look for a distraction to the imminent chaos. My kids like to paint - so I set them up with painting paraphernalia & begin the task of food preparations. Things actually seem to be going smoothly - you are pleased & had you been one of the seven dwarfs you may even have whistled while you work!


Then the trouble starts - C2 who is naturally precocious begins painting a canvas that is too irresistible - himself. Now covered in black, red & a garish deep maroon-brown he runs, paintbrush in hand, towards the kitchen door & out into the garden brandishing his paintbrush at every wall, plant & item along his way like some manic swashbuckling artist and letting out a glee-filled throaty giggle that can only mean one thing...MESSY TROUBLE! 


Mummy sees the flash of grotesque colour fly past, drops the knife on the counter & leaves half-chopped ingredients to go chasing after C2 before more cleaning up is required. You are pleased that you have caught him relatively fast and determined that his antics are not going to mess with your mind & your nerves! C2 is threatened with the paints being taken away & given a new canvas - an outdoor cement floor that can be easily washed. Something he can have fun doing & mummy's eagle eyes can watch him from the kitchen window.


C1 decides he doesn't like his ordinary paper canvas anymore & heads out to commandeer a section of his younger brother's space. Invariably more paint ends up on C1's head than on the floor, this annoys the normally finicky-about-his-appearance, C1 who proceeds to thump on his sibling. Once again mummy is required to drop what she's doing - this time partly defrosted red meat hits the counter top with slightly more force than it would have done under normal circumstances & mummy rushes out to keep the peace.


So - you see where I'm headed with this? The entire day you are running around like the proverbial headless chicken but somehow at the end of the day - the kids are clean, the house is clean, the food is prepared, you are clean AND you have time to spare & you can almost feel that "S" glowing on your chest & your red cape billowing out behind you whilst you survey your domain, broom in hand. 


THAT is until you walk in the kids room......do you finally lose your cool & yell screaming or do you decide "Screw that" & calmly walk out? It all depends on how frayed super-Mum's nerves are by this point - but on a day when you're feeling like the Super-Mum that you are you calmly call in C1 & C2, explain their friends will be arriving soon & get them to tidy up.....THAT is what happens on days that mummy realises she really IS SUPER MUM!!

Fitness Freaky

OK - so we have come to terms with the fact that no matter what you do at some stage of mother-hood your figure starts to go wonky. Unless you are a celebrity or other such privileged sort, the duties of motherhood tend to take precedence over your fitness regime.

Let's look at the seemingly downhill struggle - before the birth of C1 - keeping your figure on track was almost effortless...a few hours of exercise a week and some pretty crazy eating habits...this is the life of the average woman. Then the pregnancy comes along and you are determined that you are NOT going to end up looking like the Goodyear blimp after the birth of C1. So you continue with, and in some cases, even step up your regime. Out comes C1 and OMG! The fat seems to melt away as quickly as ice under a tropical sun. Fabulous! Everyone says how fabulous you look after having had a child. You FEEL fabulous...everything is simply FABULOUS!! 

Somewhere along the way you conveniently forget the aging process....and much to your chagrin...the diabolic slowing down of the metabolism. Suddenly, here you are pregnant with C2, expanding like a helium balloon and that fabulous feeling has run for cover lest it be squashed under your every-growing size!

C2 is born and you desperately seek that figure that seems irretrievable. But somehow you never get round to it or you start and can never consistently continue. Then C2 starts school....so you finally begin a 15 minute daily walk and after day 1 you feel fabulous! 

After Day 2 - you feel a little achy, a little less fabulous and a little less motivated.

Nevertheless.. Day 3 comes and you drag your aching body out there and it takes a good 3/4 of you exercise time for you to get into it and you practically have to haul your aching muscles every step of the way.....but suddenly, albeit 3/4 way through the work-out, you find your second wind and you pick up the pace, you even do a bit of actual cardio....and wait for it.....there's that fabulous feeling again.

Yes...you may not be the role model for Fit Yummy Mummy as yet...but you have got going....good on ya!! Whether you have dragged yourself out there or gone willingly the point is you are out there!

Keep it up! New studies show that exercise boosts brain power and memory....there...isn't THAT knowledge motivation enough?!

Raising The future Male Generation

Happy New Year! Belatedly - true - but isn't 2010 swell??

OK - so you haven't yet made up your mind - but every year starts with new expectations, new resolutions & you just cannot help yourself...you find yourself filled with new hope...before you know it the year takes over with its little tasks & you forget the hope with which it began!

During my childhood Christmas was a lot of fun....it was a real family time & time we didn't get to spend together during the year was all made up at Christmas...or so it seems now...but when I really reminisce - my family really did spend a lot of family time together during school holidays (we were in boarding school the rest of the year!).

So - now I try to recreate that excitement for my boys - C1 is at an age when he understands that Santa Claus is coming & that he gets loads of presents, but how do you teach a 5 years old who's entire world revolves around himself that Christmas is about giving? With gentle reminders. We let him talk about what he wants from everyone & then steer him in the direction of OK so what do you want to buy for Mama & for Thathi (Dad) & Malli (Little Brother). He actually stops & thinks about it...that is an accomplishment in itself....he is now thinking about some-one other than himself.

As a mother - this Christmas holiday went swimmingly well. Naturally we had our share of squabbles between C1 & C2 - but nothing to get overly stressed about & after a very long time & as terrible as it sounds - I truly enjoyed my kids.

THAT was a good feeling. When you have one child its easy to enjoy him or her. Then C2 comes along & you feel as you're permanently defending C2's life first from attacks from his jealous brother & then from himself - because let's face it - C2 is NEVER the same calm child C1 was as baby & then a toddler & pre-schooler & C1 has made an amazing transformation right before your very eyes from your loving, caring, calm child into this green-eyed monster that only wants to wreak havoc, no matter how nice you are to him.

How to strike that balance? How do you give C1 the love & assurance he so obviously needs & is so obviously crying out for & still discipline him? Well it's frustrating to say the least & there are times when you are filled with anger & almost forget that this is just a little boy wanting attention from him Mama.

Then I received this book Raising Boys from my sister & in the hopes of starting anew with C1 in the new year - I have been reading excerpts - reading the parts that interest me to begin with & it has been a wonder. It gently reminds of the importance & traits of each parent's role. The importance of the father-figure is addresses as much as the mother-figure. And hopefully it will help me re-capture more & more of what seems to get lost in the everyday fray of discipline & routine.

It is a book I would highly recommend every parent  of boys to read......both parents. It certainly helps re-capture the wonder of boys, the trials, the tribulations & above all the joys that a child brings.